This Is My Testimony
"Thought I Was a Christian"
I thought I was a Christian. I grew up without much of a spiritual life, so as I got older, I “fell in with” the folks at the local church, did what they did, and thought that my actions were enough to make me a Christian. I mean, I would attend services, sang in the choir, put money into the basket, and even assisted with committees or groups. In a number of cases, I even assumed a leadership position in these churches.
The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. (John 1:5, NIV)
And the denomination didn’t really matter. If I was hanging out with others who called themselves Christians, I thought that was good enough. At various times during my life I was Baptist, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Anglican, Methodist, and even good old Roman Catholic. At one point, I spent a number of years studying with the white-shirted Mormon elders who visited me on their bicycles.
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:7, KJV)
But something was missing. I knew the songs, I knew the lingo, and I even knew the liturgy (when to sit, when to stand, when to make the sign of the cross, etc.). But at the end of the day I still felt empty inside. That’s because I knew OF Jesus, but I didn’t KNOW JESUS.
Then, during a Christian retreat weekend in 1993, God finally broke through my armor. I was overtaken by God’s incredible love, and came to realize that God actually loved ME, wanted a right relationship with ME, and asked his son Jesus to sacrifice himself so that I could again have that relationship. At first, I was in disbelief. ME? Why would the Creator of the universe want to have anything to do with messed-up me? Then, my disbelief turned to tears. I cried and cried (wetting the entire front of the priest’s shirt as I clung to him and cried). Then, my tears changed to joy; absolute, indescribable JOY. I believed, and nobody in the world could tell me otherwise! When we got back to the room with the rest of the attendees, the first thing I did was hug every single person I could find! God loved ME! ME!! I’m sure some of the attendees got a real kick out of watching me, but I just couldn’t stop smiling and hugging them and talking about how GOD LOVED ME. Over the course of one afternoon, I had gone from someone who thought he was a Christian, to someone who KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that God raised Jesus from the dead FOR ME.
That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9, NIV)
I left that weekend with one phrase on my mouth: “AWESOME!” I felt such a joy. It was hard to re-integrate after the weekend, but the Holy Spirit helped with that too. Now, 15 years later, I still have that joy. Jesus is still so very special to me, and I’m happy to tell people about how God changed my messed-up life. So, he can certainly change yours! Yes, he’s ready and willing to make a wonderful change in your life, if you give him the opportunity. Just pray “Lord, I want to know you for myself. Come on in, Jesus.” And be sure to share what happens!